S00/E01 The Lost Episodes: The Money Pit

Before the team met Tom (aka Better is the Enemy), before “Alive or Dead,” before all the babies and weddings, we recorded in a conference room at work. We even had different intro music. We recorded “The Money Pit” and hoped we were ready to take it to the website. The audio is pretty bouncy and we had microphones in pencil cups on wool coasters.

Speaking of “wool,” Shelly Long and pre-Oscar Tom Hanks star along side some Hollywood favorites in this 1986 comedy…. emphasis on COMEDY. Ooo boy... so much comedy. Enjoy our origins and hang tight for some newness….

Meanwhile, here’s Jeff and Joelle in lock down. (thank you, Google closed captions!)

S04/ E04 The Architect

When you are in a lonely relationship and all that matters to you is money and how you look to other people then the next logical step is to build your dream house so you can keep up with your “friends”…if this is you then you are the main characters of The Architect.

This vapid couple then teams up with a pretentious architect who feels he can build them a house they want but never asked for.

Jesus Christ everyone in this movie is pathetic BUT oddly enough, you find a level headed construction manager and another architect that would have completed this dream house on time and under budget. They use the level head construction manager but even he gets consumed by the tidal wave that is a hopeless architect and insipid couple.

We watched the Architect!

S03/ E02 Shattered

A film starring the always reliable Tom Berenger and Corbin Bernsen? No it’s not one of the Major League films….It’s Shattered! Yes, one of the many thriller/mystery films that were released in the early 90s and has been forgotten about….Well, not by Starchitects: The Podcast™!

This is a prime example of streaming causing the extinction of so many films. Is this film great? No, but it shouldn’t be forgotten! Tom Berenger plays an architect/developer whose face has been Shattered (sha oobie, shattered) by a car accident and he has to figure out why, who, what and when. All of this plus a crazy condo development on the San Francisco bay that can be developed only if the Titanic didn’t crash there…..you’ll see.

Wolfgang Petersen brought us a film that combines Goonies, Elephant Man, Mask, Red Shoe Diaries and Star Wars. Tom Berenger’s hair is second billed while Corbin Bersen’s hair was fake.

This film has laughter, joy, and loneliness and sex and sex and sex and sex. Look at us, we’re in tatters!

S02/ E12 Poltergeist

Our final episode for Season Two is 1982’s summer sleeper hit "Poltergeist." Many of the practical effects of this tale brought back terrifying childhood memories of boy-eating trees, self-opening closet doors, and a base fear of clowns.

starchitect, and “Poltergeist” virgin, Graham Taylor brings his real estate nerdery to the basement to dissect the possibility of re-developing land once housing hundreds, if not thousands, of consecrated, buried bodies… and deciphering how much money Steven was making off his real estate transactions. If the amount is as much as we projected, why does their home look like a room from a 1980's Grey Gardens?

Roberta was able to find the actual house where the movie was filmed and grab an aerial shot as well as a best guess of the basic floor plan used to create and customize the house in the late seventies.

Enjoy!

starchitect: Graham Taylor

Tract home floor plan. The "Poltergeist House" was probably customized off this inital plan but the basic element are there, though no indication where the portal to the other-side resides and if you can relocate it to a more user friendly area like the family room....

the house where the movie was filmed. the location is public record; the original owners still own the house as in it has never been sold.

S02/ E08 Housesitter

“Housesitter” is as rom-com-y as it gets: jilted lover meets drastically, mismatched, kookie gal our protagonist is destined to love…. but are they?! Will they?! One giant bag of Chinese food and awkward boob touch later, Goldie Hawn’s Gwen is instantly engaged to Steve Martin’s Davis.

If we walked away with one life lesson from this fluffy piece of super fluff, it’s okay to lie. You’ll get the girl, the house, and the promotion. Go on now, lie. Frank Oz said it’s okay. Frank Oz, the voice of Super Grover, tells us it’s okay to lie.

starchitect: Alex Sklar

S02/ E06 Pacific Heights

Post “Batman,” Michael Keaton tested his menacing chops as the mysterious Carter Hayes, who turns out to be a misfit, well-to-do psychopath hell bent on making his landlords’ (Melanie Griffith and Matthew Modine) lives a living nightmare.

Vince laments: I’d totally follow Melanie into the desert to get my sex robot back any day.

The starchitects team and guest Diony Lopez talk about the realities of being a landlord in San Francisco, something Diony, Jeff, and Vince have in common. Strangely, this movie isn’t too far off in its depiction of horrific tenants who will do anything to NOT pay rent and treat apartments like absolute garbage. Even the premise of having a monkey brother isn’t beyond fiction, as Vince shared the below picture with us….

starchitect: Diony Lopez

photographic evidence vince has monkey brothers....

S02/ E05 Fools Rush In

Project management. It’s a job definition most people, even those in the profession, can’t quite put their finger on. In her recent shift to project management, Roberta was able to offer some insight as to what Matthew Perry’s character was doing on the job site in “Fools Rush In.” Still, no one in the room could grasp the whole picture of scope of service… well, maybe Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing as Alex Whitman could. Could his job responsibilities BE any more vague?

Synopsis: An episode of “Friends” minus the other five. Selma Hayek is hot.

For the record: Project Managers plan, budget, oversee and document all aspects of a project. Project managers work closely with clients to make sure the scope and direction of each project is on schedule, within the planned budget and executed properly per outlined scope.

starchitect(s): Jeff Wolinski, Vince Galea, Roberta Pennington

S02/ E03 Road House

Hotly debated amongst the starchitects team, "Road House" has been on Roberta's mind for months after strong arming this film into Season Two. Roberta contends it's a movie about urban design as a small town bar owner wants to better his establishment, make a safer place for the townspeople to gather and unwind after a hard day of fighting off organized crime and shopping at the JC Penny's; the rest of the group considers it a ploy to get a Patrick Swayze movie into our rotation.

You decide.

starchitect: Russell Holzinger

S02/ E01 Earthquake

The starchitects team kicks off its second season after a holiday hiatus to talk about all that is wrong in the world of pre- and post-earthquake Los Angeles in the celebrity cluster f***k, “Earthquake.” All-star guest Eric Li returns to remind us no one will ever be calmed by hot coffee and sandwiches in an underground shelter/ mall, especially if that shelter/ mall is constructed of cardboard columns painted to look like brick.

Personally, I cannot get enough George Kennedy.

(Did you notice the new starchitects logo? It’s like we got a hair cut over winter break hoping you’d notice and finally ask us out to the Valentine’s Day dance. Well, suck it. We’re going to get drunk in the parking lot then throw rocks in the quarry until dawn.)

starchitect: Eric Li

S01/ E10 Steel

In the 1970's, men and women worshipped one man on their televisions: Lee Majors. His finely chiseled, action-figure looks and Kung Fu grip would also open the door to become "Mr. Farrah Fawcett.” During this time, television actors rarely made the jump to feature length films, but Lee would prove them all wrong, because... “Steel.”

Joined by fellow Rust Belt native, Crawford Smith, the starchitects team dazzle at the wooden acting and flat butts. Even more amazing, the complete lack of OSHA oversight on a job site where (SPOILER ALERT) not one but TWO people die from fatal falls.

Grab a High Life and your ‘merican flag; this movie is happening.

starchitect: Crawford Smith