“Two for the Road” saw Albert Finney as the protagonist and love interest to the setting sun of Audrey Hepburn as flirty ingenue. He mumbles his way through all dialogue about… life? art? architecture? We couldn’t make it out… then he eats an apple. Double that with Hepburn’s scarecrow thin body and you have the recipe for the most BORING ten-year journey of a pair’s relationship.

Think of this movie like a fender-bender on I-84…. I mean no one really dies, and it’s kind of interesting to see how the cars are wrecked but… meh.

starchitect(s): Jeff Wolinski, Vince Galea, Roberta Pennington